Need a new sitter, she needs the $$, will this situation work? Should I get a restraining order on the ex?

I had to fire my sitter for cruelty to my kids. I have state subsidized payments so it is hard to find a good sitter. I had to locate a sitter after I threw out my boyfriend of 7 years earlier this year. Here's the kicker, my new sitter would be his mother, who is also the grandmother of my youngest child who is three. I checked witih my older(8, and 9) kids (from a previous relationship) %26amp; they know her well and trust her. Problem is me and her son (the ex) are going through a nasty split up. I have communicated to her that he is not allowed in my home while I am not there because he was mentally/ verbally abusive to me %26amp; the kids, his mother is sort of a push over when it comes to him. Should I automatically go get a restraining order on him? Can I? I do not want to subject my children to his presences because they fear him. I have instruceted my kids to tell if he comes over as I have been very direct with her. I have had the police involved before b/c he reused to move out. Help?Need a new sitter, she needs the $$, will this situation work? Should I get a restraining order on the ex?
I would definitely get a restraining order. The only problem is that you need proof of abuse or the judge will not issue it. I would NOT let his mom watch my kids because even if she wasn't a push over, that's his MOM, she's going to let him see the kids. Unfortunately because he is the father, he has rights to see the youngest even if you don't agree with it. Even if you get a restraining order, the judge would still give him supervised visitations. Trust me, I went through it when my parents split up.Need a new sitter, she needs the $$, will this situation work? Should I get a restraining order on the ex?
WOW what a situation! First of all the restraining order is only as good as the paper it is written on! If he wants to violate it- there could be legal reprocutions, but not always! Some states will not give restraing orders unless there is currant violence or unless you were married etc. Many things involved here. If you havent established legal custody, you had better do so. Maybe you should have a heart to heart with your ';mother in law';. Ask her if she can honestly respect your decisions and make a comprimise as to when youe x can see the kids! Unless of course he has been violent with them in the past. It would be wonderful too let grandma help watch the kids. Even if she is charging you! HAHA This helps keep the relationship with her grandchildren active and we as grandmas can polay very important roles in their lives. It is hard to put your kids in the middle and ask them to tattletale on dad or grandma. But if there was abuse to them, you need to take legal action to protect them. Do you really trust her enough to watch your children and to keep the x at bay? This is a stick situation to be sure. Do you ever allow the x to have contact with the kids? If you are low income, there are probably local legal aid services for you which are based on your income as to what you may have to pay them. Good Luck!
i wouldnt do it. not becuase of the trust issue- but a child is a wonderful thing to have- and you have been blessed with three. why risk subjecting them to your ex- even though she says she wont allow him over- u did say she was a pushover- so why risk it? why even make it an option!!! call your parents. or a aunt or uncle until you can figur somethng better out. dont let your children be abused- avoid it in all possible ways. you could try to get a restraining order- but i doubt they will issue one.
No, find a sitter that isn't involved in the whole ex- situation.
You're in a tight spot. Sounds like she is someone you could trust to be kind to your kids, which is a huge a benefit. But I'm 99% sure she'd cave in and let her son come over and visit, especially if he's a particularly manipulative guy that can tug on her heart strings.





I would get a restraining order if you are very serious about him not coming over.
I think I would steer clear of her. I can only see this turning very horribly bad.
don't do it find someone else
find a different sitter. even with a restraining order you have to rely on the ex's mother to be honest with you and if her son wants to see his kid, my guess is she would lie. speaking from experience, if you can't trust him you can't trust his family either. i don't know what state you live in but my child care was subsidized by the state and it really wasn't that hard to find a sittter , you just need to find one with a state employer identification number and decent references. don't allow your children to possibly be subjected to anymore abuse, even if it is just a possibility. good luck